Zuckerberg Unplugged

In one of my recent naps, I had the opportunity to interview Facebook co-founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg.

Tootsie: Mr Zuckerberg, are you aware that your name means 'Sugar Mountain' in German?

Zuckerberg: Yes. Beast looked it up on Google Translate.

T: How come Beast has a Facebook page but not a blog?

Z: She needs a Wall to pee on. Blogs only have posts.

T: How do you feel about Facebook having gone public?

Z: How can a business stay private if it's about getting people to go public with their private lives? Plus, we never had much respect for anything private.

T: That's not entirely true. You were careful about keeping certain things private. For instance, you didn't disclose that FB stock was seriously overvalued.

Z: It wasn't. The price plummeted because I dumped a bunch of my own shares.

T: Sounds like a chicken and egg situation.

Z: Eggs lie at the very foundation of Facebook.

T: How so?

Z: I started Facebook because I realized that college students want to be like eggs.

T: You mean, only higher grades?

Z: No, I mean they want to get laid. Every day.

T: Some argue that you laid an egg with the IPO.

Z: Not at all. The IPO showed that FB can generate income. At least for me.

T: But now you're facing more court time.

Z: Nothing wrong with being courted. BTW, how come you aren't on Facebook?

T: Because I don't need a Wall to pee on. I prefer peeing on grass.