Hike 8 of 2019

Hike to the Bolle di Magadino in Switzerland. 🐾🐾 This is a wetland area at the mouth of the Ticino River, across the north end of Lake Maggiore. Dog met: A four-month old puppy Chihuahua named Lina and two Border Collies. (We cannot remember their names!) 🐶☀️

And we saw this pawsome doggy DACHSHUND sign!

Hike 5 of 2019

This is one of our favorite walks (or hikes, depending on length) along Lake Lugano.

The photograph demonstrates our best Swiss doggy manners. We love all the dog signage in Switzerland that speaks directly to doggies. The poopy trash cans are pretty spectacular too. (On the side is a dispenser for poopy bags. Scoop the poop!)

We always make time to cuddle on our hikes.

And these are some human treats--not for Tootsie. (Dachshund Grandpa, check these out!)

We Can Enter!

Dog Signage

Squirrel Tail?

Swiss Dog Sign or Where Is My Neck?

Can you hold your licker?

Caution. Beware of the Dog. [S]he drools and licks everyone.

Not quite true in my case, though I've met my fair share of dachshunds who can't hold their licker.

Wolf signage and Introspection

Last summer the whole family went for a road trip across the French Alps. At the Col de la Croix de Fer, we saw this memorable sign.

It reads "Grazing animals - Dogs on leash" and, below, "We want to live in our pastures. [We say] No to wolves."

Later that day, I met Foufou, and I asked him whether I could be mistaken for a wolf.

Foufou didn't think so, nor did his cousin Pierre (below, with Lac Bramant in the background).

"You're more likely to be mistaken for a Border Collie," Pierre said. I agree: my cousin Oz is a Border Collie, and we look very much alike.

Best Dog Signage Ever: #1 - Andorno Micca

We're starting a new series on the best dog signage ever. From time to time, we'll show you an awesome example of dog signage design, and you get to rate it on a scale from 1 to 10. Here's today's entry: a very colorful doggy sign from the town of Andorno Micca in northwestern Italy.

With the typical Italian disregard for brevity, this colorful sign invites dog parents to comply with the local scoop-the-poop laws and keep their fur-kids on leash. It adds that it is mandatory for large dogs or dangerous dogs to also wear a muzzle. I wonder how this regulation applies to dachshunds... we're large (compared to chihuahuas) and dangerous (to mice); should I buy a muzzle just to be on the safe side?

Don't fur-get to rate this sign!

Common Swiss-Italian Doggy Signage

But the dog pictured is not a kind we ever see in Switzerland! What kind of doggy do you think it is? Doberman? Boxer? The ears looked clipped, which is odd because it is illegal to dock ears or tails in Switzerland. This doesn't even look like a prototype dog to us.

And why isn't it a dachshund? We are the standard bearers of doggy prototypes! And this is obviously a male doggy. As a strong dachshund feminist, I'd like to see more inclusive doggy signage.

Doggie Vacations!

Sign photograph courtesy of my human aunt Mary. Thank you!

Explicit Signage!

Read the Signs

Hello, Switzerland

It's super waggy to be back in my adopted country, Switzerland, and to take a welcome-home walk at the Gotthard Pass.

On our alpine walkies, I got to see my friends. They had a good summer. Me, too.

I read Guardian Dog signs and heard sheep but didn't see them.

And we walked. Long live walkies!

International Scoops

Italians do not appreciate conciseness, as their poopy signage clearly indicates. Just take a look at this specimen from the town of Agra, nestled on top of a hill overlooking Lake Maggiore.

Literal translation: "[Dogs] may not circulate unless on leash, muzzled, and equipped with dedicated means for the removal of possible feces - Article 27/28 of the Regulations of the City Police for the decorum and safety of citizens".

Seriously?! All this crap to get people to scoop? Like you, we always scoop. And what's this nonsense about the muzzle? Do they even make muzzles my size? And take a close look at the cute dog on the sign:

She's clearly wagging; is that also not allowed in Agra?

Needless to say, dogs in Agra are free to wag copiously, never wear muzzles, few are ever on leash, and poop hardly ever gets scooped, as is generally the rule in Italy. Lots of rules, always very particular and verbose, and nobody follows any of them.

The Swiss, on the other hand, are much more pragmatic. The snazzy poopy sticker below doesn't leave much room for interpretation. And it is aptly placed on a poopy bag dispenser, paid for by a yearly $50 doggy tax charged to every dog-owning family.

Doggy Highways

If teleportation was invented, we would no longer need to drive, and highways would exclusively cater to bicycles, pedestrians, horses, and dogs. Rumor has it Google may nail teleportation by the end of the fiscal year, and transportation agencies are already thinking ahead.

I was recently commissioned to propose a number of esthetically pleasing designs for doggy signage to the transportation agencies of various countries.

As much as I love cuddles, I admit that they may create congestion on shared roadways. For instance, a miniature dachshund getting cuddles by a number of road users may hinder traffic, which is why we need to warn cyclists and joggers.

Caution - Cuddles Ahead Notebook by BicontinentalTootsie

The very presence of a dachshund may warrant a sign such as the following.

Caution - Watch for Weiners Notebook by BicontinentalTootsie

As you can see, these truly unique signs are featured on my "Very Dangerous American Dog" notebook series.

Back to dachshund-induced congestion... in certain situations, it may help to provide quantitative information about the distribution of the dachshunds, as in the fridge magnet below:

Extreme Cuteness Ahead - dachshund road sign Magnets by BicontinentalTootsie

The Mexican Department of Transportation pointed out that, even after the uptake of teleport pads, some people may still wish to drive their cars just for fun. It makes sense, as the demand for oil will drop and gas will be cheaper than dog pee, which is why I sent this fridge magnet to Mexico City:

Cuidado Sign - Dachshund Mexican Road Sign Magnet by BicontinentalTootsie

"Careful -- drive slowly -- sausage dogs." Concise, vivid, and right to the point. And I even figured out how to use the polite form of the imperative in Spanish. Hasta luego, amigos!

Some Poopy Signage

Can you believe what my mom makes me do? Pose with poopy signage. So not fair!

Oh yes. Bravo for using poopy bags, but do I really have to pose with them? (In the background, check out that mountain called "The Teeth of the Lady" -- "Denti della Vecchia.")

The next sign is all about not pooping on grass that cows eat. "Thank you! Clean and safe meadows," it reads. Just look at the cow's shocked expression.

The following sign roughly translates to "Mess up. Clean up!"

I swear if I get womanhandled up in the air one more time that I will.... Oh, I'll wag when I'm put down. Yes, I will. Would you?

Triple Ostrich Pun

This sign is complicated!

"Non fare lo stronzo" is an Italian expression that translates to "don't be a jerk" but literally means "don't make a turd". Because the word "stronzo" ("turd") is too explicit, the authors of this sign write "str... uzzo" -- the Italian word for "ostrich."

"Raccoglila!!!" means "scoop it up."

This is followed by the reminder that "the secret to being welcomed is to be polite and civilized".

So there you have it. The secret is all in scooping the pooping.

This sign, found in Lugano, Switzerland, comes from the wotten waven Italian website DogWelcome.it.

A Poster for My Friend Bouncing Bertie

We see this sign on one of favorite walks along Lake Lugano in Switzerland.

It always makes us think of our friend Bouncing Bertie,

a wire-haired fox terrier who bounces.

Wag on over to visit Bouncing Bertie's blog.

Pick Up Your...

 

A loose translation:

Leash your doggy.

Pick up your doggy s**t.