Doggy Highways

If teleportation was invented, we would no longer need to drive, and highways would exclusively cater to bicycles, pedestrians, horses, and dogs. Rumor has it Google may nail teleportation by the end of the fiscal year, and transportation agencies are already thinking ahead.

I was recently commissioned to propose a number of esthetically pleasing designs for doggy signage to the transportation agencies of various countries.

As much as I love cuddles, I admit that they may create congestion on shared roadways. For instance, a miniature dachshund getting cuddles by a number of road users may hinder traffic, which is why we need to warn cyclists and joggers.

Caution - Cuddles Ahead Notebook by BicontinentalTootsie

The very presence of a dachshund may warrant a sign such as the following.

Caution - Watch for Weiners Notebook by BicontinentalTootsie

As you can see, these truly unique signs are featured on my "Very Dangerous American Dog" notebook series.

Back to dachshund-induced congestion... in certain situations, it may help to provide quantitative information about the distribution of the dachshunds, as in the fridge magnet below:

Extreme Cuteness Ahead - dachshund road sign Magnets by BicontinentalTootsie

The Mexican Department of Transportation pointed out that, even after the uptake of teleport pads, some people may still wish to drive their cars just for fun. It makes sense, as the demand for oil will drop and gas will be cheaper than dog pee, which is why I sent this fridge magnet to Mexico City:

Cuidado Sign - Dachshund Mexican Road Sign Magnet by BicontinentalTootsie

"Careful -- drive slowly -- sausage dogs." Concise, vivid, and right to the point. And I even figured out how to use the polite form of the imperative in Spanish. Hasta luego, amigos!