Cougar Alert

Here's a set of helpful tips on what to do if you meet a cougar, courtesy of the United States Furest Service (USFS).

Face the animal, stand upright. I can try to balance on my rear paws, but it's bad for my spine and I doubt it would impress the cougar.

I keep hearing that size doesn't matter, but I still think it may come in handy, especially with cougars. In fact, the USFS recommends that you do all you can to appear larger. I guess they didn't write this one with dachshunds in mind.

In any case, during a cougar attack, it is essential to keep your priorities straight. Pick up small children immediately. But pick up your fur-children first!

Most cougars will avoid a confrontation, but you may meet one cougar who doesn't like to follow mass trends. What can you do in that case? The USFS recommends that you fight back if it attacks you. I wonder whether getting hump hugged by a spayed dachshund would freak out a cougar.

Keep in mind that a cougar is basically a mean large cat who wants to play hide and seek with her own set of rules. Normally, you don't stand a chance, but if things do work out for you, please remember to pack it out!

Because at the end of the day, great outdoor manners are all that matters, as all cougars would agree.