Friday, September 14, 2012

The Equality State Book Festival

Dear Grandpa and Truffle,

Thank you for taking care of me while Mom gives a talk and a reading at the Equality State Book Festival in Casper, Wyoming. I wanted to go with her, but remember how I barked through the entire last reading? (Mom is really excited about the Festival and says "thank you, Holly & Laurie!")

Grandpa, as you know, Mom is of the nervous dachshund mommy variety, so she helped me prepare a reminder list for my care.

1. Please remember to shut all the doors to the house all the time.
  • I, Tootsie, do declare: you know this will help! If I go outside off leash, I follow my nose.
2. Please remember to keep the makeshift gate across the stairs to the loft. The stairs are really, really steep (um, those stairs look kind of grungy, Grandpa).

  • I, Tootsie, do declare: I don't want to fall down those stairs again and thump in a lump at the bottom. Here's a sign on the makeshift gate.

3. As you know, I'm on a strict Swiss-German diet. I receive just under 1/3 a cup of kibble in the morning and just under 1/3 a cup of kibble in the evening. With H2O. I also eat one fish oil in the morning and one fish oil in the evening.
  • I, Tootsie, do declare: You know I'll tell you otherwise!
4. Please feel free to give me lots of treats: carrots, green beans, and peeled sweet potatoes.
  • I, Tootsie, do declare: Yummy!
5. Please make sure I sleep on the floor mat with my brown-and-cream colored snuggle blankie. If you cannot resist my begging, please make sure you lift me up onto the bed. Do not let me jump off the bed!
  • I, Tootsie, do declare: It's too far for me to jump down from your bed. And, besides, Truffle sleeps there. I understand. (I don't. Mom says I have to write that I understand. I don't understand.)
6. Please keep me on leash at all times. I'm not supposed to go outside until I hear "okay." (See #1.)
  • I, Tootsie, do declare: Remember that time I followed my nose and Mom screamed like a crazy cougar woman and Dachshund Daddy ran up and down the hills and found me snuffling round?

7. Please be sure that Truffle eats all of his arthritis medicine in his mouth and that the pill doesn't fall on the floor as it would be an overdose for me to eat it.
  • I, Tootsie, do declare: Enough said. We all remember the Aleve fiasco. Thank you, Dr. Ward, for my blessed recovery. Like my friend Scrappy, I have become a dog-of-faith.
8. Truffle offered to take care of me, but would you help him out when I hump hug him too much? Truffle says he'll let you know by squeaking.
  • I, Tootsie, do declare: I love to air hump!

9. Thank you for taking care of me! I'll cuddle and snuggle and burrow and wag and walk, and I promise I won't put on my brakes on our walkies. (My Dachshund Delights Hug-a-Dog Harness is hanging by the back door.) I'm gonna hunt pack wats. I'm gonna hunt mice.

I love you, Grandpa. Love, Tootsie


  1. Tootsie, a while back your Mom (in a comment, I think) referred to her 'helicopter' parenting approach, and ever since I have been trying to come up with the appropriate term for Gail's more laissez faire 'he'll only learn if given the freedom to make his own mistakes' tendencies. Maybe your Mom can help - we have noticed that she is clever with words. (Gail says she really enjoyed her book about her dancing experiences in New York and would love to hear her talk about it.)
    Well anyway, I'm sure you had a great time with Grandpa, and of course obeyed all the rules.
    Toodle pip!

    1. Bertie,

      Tootsie's mom here: Please tell Gail that we are trying to find a term for you. And, Gail, thank you so much for reading "Body of a Dancer". I really appreciate it!

      Tootsie sends wags, too.


  2. That's quite a list!

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

  3. Have a great time staying with Grandpa! Sounds like it's gonna be a lot of fun (as long as everyone plays by the rules.)

    Lily Belle & Muffin

  4. Momma leaves LONG lists like that whenever she leaves us with Grandma too! It's like she doesn't TRUST us or something.

  5. I'm sure you will be well cared for. Just stick to the rules and all will be well. I like the part that you get all the treats you want.

  6. RULES... there are a LOT of RULES here. Are you SURE you can follow all of them? THEY are good ones. BOY HOWDY do I EVER remember the SCARY... Aleve thingy. It made MY mom very CAUTIOUS about THAT stuffs...
    I am sure that you and Grandpa are gonna have a BLAST together. Best of Luck to your mom on her Speech Thingy.

    1. Thank you! I keep repeating your wonderful term "hump hugs"!

  7. The rules sound pretty reasonable, but then we worry about leaving the dogs with my parents too!

  8. Hahaha, I'm cracking up at the term hump hugs!

    Nubbin wiggles,

    1. We have to give credit to our friends Frankie Furter and Ernie; we read their phrase "hump hugs" on their blog and could not stop wagging!


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