The Equality State Book Festival

Dear Grandpa and Truffle,

Thank you for taking care of me while Mom gives a talk and a reading at the Equality State Book Festival in Casper, Wyoming. I wanted to go with her, but remember how I barked through the entire last reading? (Mom is really excited about the Festival and says "thank you, Holly & Laurie!")

Grandpa, as you know, Mom is of the nervous dachshund mommy variety, so she helped me prepare a reminder list for my care.

1. Please remember to shut all the doors to the house all the time.

• I, Tootsie, do declare: you know this will help! If I go outside off leash, I follow my nose.

2. Please remember to keep the makeshift gate across the stairs to the loft. The stairs are really, really steep (um, those stairs look kind of grungy, Grandpa).

• I, Tootsie, do declare: I don't want to fall down those stairs again and thump in a lump at the bottom. Here's a sign on the makeshift gate.

3. As you know, I'm on a strict Swiss-German diet. I receive just under 1/3 a cup of kibble in the morning and just under 1/3 a cup of kibble in the evening. With H2O. I also eat one fish oil in the morning and one fish oil in the evening.

• I, Tootsie, do declare: You know I'll tell you otherwise!

4. Please feel free to give me lots of treats: carrots, green beans, and peeled sweet potatoes.

• I, Tootsie, do declare: Yummy!

5. Please make sure I sleep on the floor mat with my brown-and-cream colored snuggle blankie. If you cannot resist my begging, please make sure you lift me up onto the bed. Do not let me jump off the bed!

• I, Tootsie, do declare: It's too far for me to jump down from your bed. And, besides, Truffle sleeps there. I understand. (I don't. Mom says I have to write that I understand. I don't understand.)

6. Please keep me on leash at all times. I'm not supposed to go outside until I hear "okay." (See #1.)

• I, Tootsie, do declare: Remember that time I followed my nose and Mom screamed like a crazy cougar woman and Dachshund Daddy ran up and down the hills and found me snuffling round?

7. Please be sure that Truffle eats all of his arthritis medicine in his mouth and that the pill doesn't fall on the floor as it would be an overdose for me to eat it.

• I, Tootsie, do declare: Enough said. We all remember the Aleve fiasco. Thank you, Dr. Ward, for my blessed recovery. Like my friend Scrappy, I have become a dog-of-faith.

8. Truffle offered to take care of me, but would you help him out when I hump hug him too much? Truffle says he'll let you know by squeaking.

• I, Tootsie, do declare: I love to air hump!

9. Thank you for taking care of me! I'll cuddle and snuggle and burrow and wag and walk, and I promise I won't put on my brakes on our walkies. (My Dachshund Delights Hug-a-Dog Harness is hanging by the back door.) I'm gonna hunt pack wats. I'm gonna hunt mice.

I love you, Grandpa. Love, Tootsie