Thursday, January 17, 2013

Lance Armstrong Unplugged

By now you will all have heard that Oprah Winfrey and I interviewed Lance Armstrong. According to Oprah, Lance Armstrong "did not come clean in the manner [she] expected."

During our interview, Lance admitted he only confessed to doping because the United States Postal Service had stopped delivering his mail.

I'm not sure what Oprah expected. I expected some closure after the friction Lance caused in my family. Mom used to think he was the ultimate American uber-athlete, while Dad always saw right through his lies.

"You can't do what he does without doping," my dad would argue. Mom would get upset, and Dad would suggest Mom try to ride up and over those French Alps.

Then Dad would say, "A professional cyclist without dope is like a gigolo without a penis." And the conversation would stop.

I still wonder why someone whose life is all about riding bikes should go by the name of Armstrong. Shouldn't his name be Quadstrong? Even better: Liestrong.


  1. Oh Tootsie you so made me laugh this morning.

  2. I think that's the best take on this we've heard, very funny :)

  3. Oh, Tootsie, I know how your mom feels! My mom used to think that a cancer survivor would need to be insane to mess with his body chemistry in such a reckless way. Mom was resigned and sad when this topic arose over the last few months, but laughed a lot at your post today! Also, we think your granddad sounds hilarious. Runs in the family... Wags!

  4. Tootsie I am going to have to hand over to Gail today, 'cos this is a subject about which she feels strongly....
    Toodle pip!
    Gail here: ah yes, the formerly sainted Lance. Just because you've survived cancer doesn't necessarily make you a nice person does it? I could never understand why people found his book 'It's not about the bike' so inspirational. All a saw when I read it was a deeply selfish person who only valued others, especially women (e.g. his mother, girlfriend) to the extent that they were of use to him. And now, the breathtaking scale of hypocrisy involved in concealing his drug taking, and the way he set himself up as some kind of a superhero in the world of cycling, does make him more culpable than all the other cyclists who were quietly doing at the same time, in my opinion!

  5. Momma used to really admire Lance Armstrong too. She threw in the towel when he stopped fighting the accusations. 'Cause he never gives up, so he wouldn't have unless there was no truth to fight for. Siiiiigh. At least we doggies always give humans something to aspire to!

  6. Tootsie, you're so funny! I had to share this with Cushion and he just said, "I told you so. Men are smarter about these things. They're all on drugs. The ones that win just have better drug dealers." You can tell he and DD are on the same page about Mr Liestrong and competitive biking! Is the interview over? We thought of watching but have decided it isn't worth the effort.

  7. Or is that your dad, Tootsie's mama? And not DD? Just woke up ;)

  8. Love the 'gigolo' comment...BOL!

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

    Bella likes to chase doesn't matter if they're doped.

  9. We think you have a big career as a celebrity interviewer ahead of you

    urban hounds

  10. BOL you're a great talk show host!

  11. We like the name Liestrong. It is sad that people lie so much. You think of all the people who tried to live up to his achievements but never would be able to unless they had drugs! Great interview!


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