Thursday, January 24, 2013

Homeland Swisscurity

Because Switzerland is preparing to face the threat of mass civil unrest in western Europe that may spill over its border, the newly minted Department of Homeland Swisscurity has beefed up security at all border posts.

The former Secretary of the US Department of Homeland Security, Michael Chertoff, has been hired as an advisor and is helping patrol the border with surprise checkpoints out in the woods.

All travelers arriving at a port-of-entry to the Swiss Confederation are subject to a thorough inspection by a Swiss border collie.

High tech infrastructure is used to protect the border, including impassable gates and fences from World War Two complemented by hiking signage...

and, most notably, poopy bag dispensers, because you can't protect a border if you don't scoop the poop.

As a dual Swiss-American national, I'm doing my part.

In the picture above, I'm inspecting a border marker up in the mountains between Switzerland and Italy.


  1. We are glad you are there to keep the world a little safer!

  2. "If you don't scoop the poop" ~ You're making us laugh!

    Lily Belle & Muffin

  3. I'm glad to see that they recognize the importance of poop scooping to national security!

  4. Scoop the Poop. Bawhahhaha. And that sure is a very thorough inspection.

  5. OUR mom should apply fur a job there... SHE is the QUEEN of the Poop Scoop.

    Glad that you told us about this... esp the ... HIGH Level of ... Searching and Sniffin.

  6. Ha ha ha from a country that always remains neutral! Love Dolly

  7. Thank doggness you are there to patrol! You never know when you may stumble upon a poop-bag-bomb!

  8. Tootsie, I'm glad to see the authorities taking it so seriously that poop does not cross the border. As everyone in the EU knows, it's sad to have to deal with someone else's s__ _t ;)

  9. Tootsie? Did you bite Michael Chertoff's shoulder?

    -Bart and Ruby


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