Monday, November 18, 2013

International Pee Spot

You may recall that I work part-time as a Swiss border patrol agent. My task is to analyze all pee spots located along the Swiss-Italian border. Here I am in Torrazza, Switzerland investigating a 1974 border marker on the Swiss side of the Strait of Lavena.


You can see the town of Lavena, Italy just across the water. The Strait of Lavena is less than fifty feet wide at its narrowest, but no bridge was ever built due to the Swiss fear of a mass influx of Italian tourists. The one and only bridge to Italy is two miles away and always backed up with traffic.


And here I am, leaving pee-mail by the border marker. As you can see, national security is my number one concern, and I'm really serious about what I do. You cannot protect your border if you don't pee on it first.


I sure hope that Rand Beers, the acting Secretary of Homeland Security in the United States, is up to speed with the latest pee-based border patrol techniques that I apply in my professional life.

16 comments:

  1. Se tante volte ti servisse un rinforzo per andare di pattuglia, fammi un fischio, io sono sempre a disposizione! Non per niente sono il poliziotto dell'Englischer Garten!
    Tanti saluti canini
    Tuo Arno

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  2. What a fine marker you make!!!

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  3. You are the best border patrol I've ever seen!

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  4. Tootsie you are doing a fine fine job. And an important one at that.
    Blessings,
    Goose

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  5. I hope they're paying you well for your efforts!

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  6. Tootsie, I think you should hold an international conference on this 'wee' matter. I mean, if Scotland votes for independence next year then border pee technique may become an important issue for me to master quite soon.
    Toodle pip!
    Bertie.

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  7. LOL excellent job. That is a sure way to keep the border secure!

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  8. Maybe they need to get a system like that here in US.

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  9. There's not much more important that border patrol, and especially pee markings. Spies are constantly using pee mail to infiltrate other countries, or so I hear. I think it works a lot like invisible ink. It's a good thing you're there, Tootsie.

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  10. You are a pawesome Border Patrol Agent, Tootsie! Well played marking your territory, so to speak!
    *high paws*
    Oz

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  11. Hi Y'all!

    I salute you! What an important job you have!

    Y'all come by now,
    Hawk aka BrownDog

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  12. You are leaving a very Pawtant Mark :-) Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

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  13. Very important job, keep up the good work.

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  14. You are a pawsome border patrol agent, Tootsie!

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  15. I heard someone telling me a while ago that the Swiss and Northern Italians don't really get along that well. I wonder what is the story behind that!?!?

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  16. The foreigners might not speak your bark but I bet pee is universal. You are super smart Tootsie :)

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